Poor little rich boy.

Justin Bieber revealed in a new Teen Vogue interview that he has a hard time trusting people ... and that Lil Twist -- you know, the dude who crashes Bieber's cars all the time and lives rent free in his mansion -- is his best friend.

Somehow, we think those two things may be related.

"I get good vibes from people all the time, and I probably could get along with them and be their friend, but now I just don't trust anybody," he griped to the mag's May 2013 music issue.

"Literally, my phone never rings. I only have, like, four people that I keep in contact with. I don't need a bunch of friends to make me happy. I just need the people close to me that I love, that's all."

Who are those people? "My dad, my mom, Ryan [Good]. Ryan and Chaz [his friends from home]. [Lil] Twist is my best friend," he continued, perhaps not realizing that's actually five people. "They don't see me as Justin Bieber, but just see me as Justin."

Part of why he doesn't trust anyone is the rampant gossip that surrounds him -- and the photos that get sold of him doing bad things ... often with Lil Twist in tow. (Bro, a best friend wouldn't let you do that. Or at least wouldn't let you get caught.)

"There's so much nonsense that gets out there that's not true. I would rather spend time really interacting with my fans. You just have to keep your head high and be positive," he shrugged. "I know who I am, and I'm very much in control. I don't need to address every speculation."

And for the important stuff: What does he look for in a lover? "I like a girl who's funny," Bieber revealed. "Someone who can make me laugh. Who's beautiful on the inside and out ... someone who's intelligent. Good conversation. Who has kissable lips." (We're guessing that last line was thrown in for the Teen Vogue target audience.)

And in a hater? He just looks at the bottom line.

“Every time a hater visits my YouTube page, I get, like, four cents," he boasted. "So tell the haters to keep hating, keep commenting, because I’m making money.”

Justin Bieber Teen Vogue
Teen Vogue
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Justin Bieber Teen Vogue
Teen Vogue
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Justin Bieber Teen Vogue
Teen Vogue
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Justin Bieber Teen Vogue
Teen Vogue
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Justin Bieber Teen Vogue
Teen Vogue
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