No, Joan Rivers Is Not an Illegal Immigrant

On a recent trip to the UK, comedienne Joan Rivers had a little incident with the border patrol wherein they thought she and her daughter Melissa might be illegal immigrants.

The story goes that Joan and Melissa were visiting friend Countess Sondes (what, you're not buddies with countesses?) at an estate in Kent. While they were there and filming their show ‘Joan Knows Best,’ they went out on a fishing boat on the Swale Estuary, a body of water known in the area for being lousy with illegals.

That's when the UK Border Agency decided they looked suspicious and descended upon the group to ask questions. (Can't really blame them there -- Joan's looked pretty suspicious for years.)

Members of Joan’s entourage said she was “hilarious the whole time,” but the border guards were strictly business. A spokesperson for the agency later said, “After a short discussion, Border Force officers were satisfied the passengers and crew did not present a risk to the border.”

After it was all over, Joan seemed disappointed, saying, “Even though we were innocent, I am so sorry they didn’t arrest us. I love Englishmen and they were very cute.”

Maybe if she'd had Nicole Scherzinger and her stash along for the ride, Joan would've gotten her wish.