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Jermaine Jackson Wants to Buy a Vowel and Change His Name

Jermaine Jackson is petitioning the court to change his name to something pretty close to Jackson.
Toby Canham, Getty Images

It’s hard out there for a Jackson. First, they all had to grow up with a douche of a father. Then they all had to overcome the scars from that only to live in the limelight of a brother who was awesome and then completely lost his mind. Now, they have to deal with the bitter in-fighting in the aftermath of that brother’s tragic death.

Given all that, it’s not surprising that Jermaine has decided he can no longer be a Jackson. So of course he’s changing his name.

Maybe it’s to separate from the family or maybe it’s so he can book a hotel room or make dinner reservations without being mobbed by fans and paparazzi — ha! we kid — or maybe, like he says, it’s for “artistic reasons,” but regardless, Jermaine is in the process of changing his last name.

The new name he’s come up with should really help in keeping him on the down-low when he’s out and about. And he’s obviously put a lot of thought into it. That’s because his creatively disguised new name will be … Jacksun.

You can see how that would help.

He filed court papers on Nov. 6 and a hearing has been set for a judge to approve things. The L.A. courts have to make sure he’s not doing something crazy, you know, like Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop did.

It’s a complicated process. Maybe after he goes through it and knows the ropes, he can help Tito and Blanket — or his own son, Jermajesty.

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