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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Parenting Skills Are Way Better Than Yours

Gwynnie
Paul Zimmerman, Getty Images

Gwyneth Paltrow, everyone’s least favorite WASP and PEOPLE’s Best Dressed Woman in the World, never fails to live up to her global (read: snooty) reputation.

This time around, she’s revealed that her children Apple, 8, and Moses, 6, are only allowed to watch television in languages other than English. Because she’s a better mother than you.

The actress told InStyle, where she’s the October cover girl, “I only let them watch TV in French or Spanish. When I’m in France, I go to [Boulevard] Beaumarchais and buy all their cartoons.”

Being bilingual in their cartoon-watching must make her offspring nice conversation pieces for Gwynnie’s high-brow friends, even if the other kids laugh at them for thinking Bart Simpson is Parisian.

Oh, wait. What were we thinking? Surely Paltrow’s kids don’t fraternize in the sandbox with mere mortal children who actually watch their shows in English. That’s an IQ-killer right there.

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