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French Court Says We Had No Right to See Kate Middleton’s Naked Boobies

Prince William and Princess Kate get justice for inappropriate photos.
Chris Jackson, Getty Images

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have had their day in court over those topless photos of Kate Middleton — and it looks like one French judge will be getting a fancy gravy boat from the House of Windsor for Christmas this year.

Last week, the French tabloid Closer published the photos of England’s future queen, which they purchased from a photographer who took the pics without the permission or knowledge of the royal couple and their powerful (if inbred) family. The Duke and Duchess were on a private vacation, in a private villa in France, having some private time together when an enterprising photographer with a long lens and loose morals discovered their whereabouts and captured the unsuspecting Kate sans bikini top — and made the shots very, very public.

On Tuesday, a French court ruled that Closer must hand over the originals of the photos to the royal couple within 24 hours. As you’d expect, a spokesperson for the pair said they “welcome the judge’s ruling.”

Unfortunately for modest Kate and the rest of the royal family, the die has been cast — because in the world of digital photos, turning over an “original” doesn’t really mean anything. And the ruling only has weight in France, which won’t prevent publications in other countries from continuing to share Kate’s rack with an eager world.

In fact, the nudie pics have already appeared in Italian and Irish magazines, proving that if a woman is important enough, her bare boobs can act as a very special version of the United Nations.

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