Chris Federline Manages to Out-Trash Kevin, Claims He’s Britney Spears’ Baby Daddy [UPDATED]
Chris Federline, brother of super-spermed Kevin Federline, is making the news based on allegations that his former sister-in-law Britney Spears committed credit card fraud and that he’s the father of her son Sean Preston.
What the what?
Britney’s former bro-in-law took his “gossip” (read: crazy talk) to Radar Online and its sister publication, the National Enquirer, after he supposedly filed a restraining order against the singer on Dec. 18 in Tampa, Fla.
According to court documents, Chris alleges that Britney is “out of control and a maniac” and stole a credit card out of his wallet, which she then used during a $4,500 shopping spree.
Pretty hard to believe considering Spears’ is the top-earning female performer of the year, raking in a cool $58 million and Chris Federline is, well, Chris Federline.
He claims Spears went to Kevin’s home to pick up her children Sean Preston and Jayden James and found his wallet on the counter, so she did what any millionaire pop star would do and “opened it up and stole [his] Capital One credit card.” How it had a spending limit above $100 is beyond us.
When Chris confronted her about the stolen plastic he claims Britney “laughed at me [and] told me my brother Kevin ruined her life, and made fun of me and told me I have a small penis.”
Is it harassment if it’s true?
“She also blackmailed me and told me if I tell the police that she stole my credit card, that she will tell the world I’m the true father of Sean Preston, not Kevin,” Chris continued. “I do confess I slept with Britney, and I am the true father, but the public does not need to know.”
You’re right, Chris — the public doesn’t need to know. Which is why you should always entrust your secrets to the Enquirer. They’re super good at keeping them.
The court documents allege Britney “threatened to tell Kevin she and Chris had sex while she was married to Kevin … and tell everyone.” Which makes total sense except that it doesn’t.
A source close to the newly-crowned King of the Douches says, “The fling was a mistake. [Chris] always felt bad and kept it to himself because he didn’t want Alisha, his wife at the time, to know.”
Just remember to respect his wishes — he’s a very private person and he doesn’t want anyone to know about these things.
UPDATE: Looks like the whole thing was a big fat hoax filed by a nutty guy who makes of habit of such things. Pity.