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Chaz Bono Quit Smoking to Keep His Nipples + Is Saving Up to Buy a Penis

Chaz Bono
Kevin Winter, Getty Images

Chaz Bono is telling the world about his new anatomy, because we’re sure there are some people out there who care. We’re just not sure who those people are.

Rolling Stone caught up with Bono, 42, who revealed that he quit smoking to save his nipples after his “top” surgery — and that he’s saving up for bottom surgery, too.

“The way I had my top surgery done, they take your nipples off, and from your old nipples, they make male nipples,” he said. “They totally re-craft them, let’s say, and then they graft them back on. So it’s a graft, and grafts don’t always heal, and then this transgender guy that my girlfriend met said, ‘I know people who were smokers whose nipples have fallen off.'”

Apparently that scared Bono to stop smoking. “When she told me that, that was all the incentive I needed,” said Bono, who can reportedly curl 25 pounds with each hand. “I went cold turkey.”

And for those of you who were wondering what kinds of penises Bono is looking into, don’t worry. He told RS that, too.

“I could get a phalloplasty, which builds the phallus from a donor site on your body,” he said, “but I’m leaning more toward a metoidioplasty. It’s a procedure that uses what you already have down there, which has grown larger from the testosterone. You end up with a smaller phallus than with the phalloplasty, but it’s fully functional, it gets erect, and the sensation is all there.”

And will it compare with, say, Don Johnson’s Johnson?

“I’ve never seen one erect. So it’s really hard to say. But, you know, soft, probably about three inches, and it grows considerably. I don’t know what the average size difference is, but when I’m having sex I probably get three or four times larger.”

Now that you’ve got that mental image, you’re left to wonder exactly how much of a paycheck Bono received from ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and ‘Celebrity Fit Club,’ because he can’t afford the surgery yet.

“Well, I mean, to break it down, the surgery I want to have, I’d like to have the testicular implants and all of that, and I’d like to be able to urinate through it,” he said. Mmmm.

Why? Because he’s smart, honestly: “I mean, it’s not that big a deal to sit down, but some of the toilet seats in men’s rooms are disgusting. The doctor I want to use is in Belgrade. It’s going to be a little cheaper there. Probably $25,000, maybe $45,000, I really don’t know.”

It’s okay, Chaz. We really don’t want to know.

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