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Celebrities May Die Years Before Us Mere Mortals

Tom Cruise
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Being famous isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be — at least if you’re interested in a long lifespan.

A strange new study out of Australia has found that celebrities die at a younger age than other people. And here we thought the only health hazard in the celebrity world came from getting sick of hearing about the likes of Amanda, Lindsay and Miley.

In surgically-enhanced jaw-dropping news, performers and athletes kick the bucket at an average age of 77, which means Kris Humphries will presumably perish before Kim Kardashian, since she is neither a performer nor an athlete (unfortunately, there’s no scientific study to determine when overpublicized debutantes will meet their maker).

Other creative types like artists, writers and composers remain on this earth until they’re 79, while those in the education and medical fields go six feet under at 82 and businessmen and politicians don’t pass away until they’re 83.

Moral of the story: If you want to be a star, don’t spend money on plastic surgery. Spend money hiring good doctors who can keep you around for a long, long time so that the public will always say “aww” every time they see you.

We’re looking at you, Betty White.

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