This frequently dour actress is going to have a rough career. As she explained, "I don't want to make movies for kids, and I don't want to make movies for adults either."
This teen pop sensation should stay far, far away from current events and politics. As he once mused, "I'm not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad."
This singer/actress combo seems a tad confused by how words work. She once contradicted herself by explaining, "I'm not really a flirt, but I am a girl ... I do manipulate men when I feel like it."
This Los Angeles mini-mansion is owned by an octogenarian who likes to house his much younger, very busty employees -- whom he occasionally dates, pays to get nude and occasionally marries. You know, your basic HR nightmare. Only he's way too much of a BAMF for rules.
This rapper, perfumer and fashion designer wants to be just like his idol. As he once asserted, "I think that it's important for me to mature and evolve as an artist ... I'm trying to get my Black Bruce Willis on."
This singer has a fear of casting ballots for the POTUS, but it's cool because he votes for imaginary things too. As he claimed, "I've voted for lots of things besides the President - lots of things that have changed childrens' lives and the planet's life."
This actress loves nature so much she occasionally engages in dendrophilia, which is basically sex with trees. As she once explained, "We're not tree huggers, we're tree humpers. It's hotter."
She may not wear a raspberry beret, but she definitely goes in through the out door, out door. As this actress once explained, "If I go to a concert or a sporting event I usually go in a VIP entrance. And leave the same way."
This heavily eye-lined young singer likes her musical genres to have very strict boundaries. As she griped, "People think pop is rock, and the lines are getting blurred ... Now Rihanna is wearing f---ing leather jackets, and it's really annoying."
This Mulholland Estate mansion is the third property owned by this actor and tabloid staple, who can currently be found on TV and in movies. Or just asking his Twitter followers to perform heinous deeds against elementary schools. (True story.)
This actor is so ready for the zombie apocalypse that he once assumed it was already here. As he explained, "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."
Psh, that Van Gogh guy is the Nic Cage of painting. This comedian once said, "I don't care if people think I am an overactor ... People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter."
Pirating is really hard, you guys. Almost as hard as verb conjugations. This glitter-covered singer once said, "I've doven. Doven? Diven? ... I'm pretty much a pirate."
This singer and actress thinks you should do as she says, not as she does. Despite believing it's wrong, she perpetually ponders, "Why did God give me my talent, my gift, my family? ... I know you're not supposed to question God."
Apparently "success" and "wastefulness" are synonyms to this singer, who once said, "Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice."
The actor who owns this sprawling mansion has plenty of reasons to smile, but that doesn't mean you'll coax one out of a dude who scowls so often he's been compared to internet sensation Grumpy Cat.
Please don't hurt us, sir. We mean it all in good fun.
The term head-banger just reached a whole new level. Said this wild-haired singer, "I can't towel-dry my hair, because it'll tangle. So I put a towel on the bed and smack my head on the bed."
Legitimate actress or porn star? You be the judge. She once said of her craft, "I get dressed up like a doll, a nice man puts lipstick on my lips and I say words - it's deeply satisfying."
This Oscar-winning actor might as well have invented the hashtag #firstworldproblems. Especially with this tale of woe: "I had homosexual goats. It's best when you have goats that are that gay to just let them be free."
They say a good teacher can change your life, and this actress agrees, saying, "I know two girls in my life who are good friends, who were not pooing, but now they're pooing 'cause I helped them. I taught them how to poo."