Dumb Celebrity Quotes

Reality show stars say the darnedest things. Let this henceforth be known as the greatest known rhetorical question of all time: "What did I do? Why did I wake up in a garbage can?"

Celebrities are privileged drug addicts. This television personality once said, "When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge ... I was never under a bridge, and I always has shoes."

This star has a simple set of rules he follows when he takes on a role, specifically, "In an action film you act in the action. If it's a dramatic film you act in the drama."

This English director wants you to have faith -- as long as you don't find any truth in it. He was once created a paradox by saying, "It's okay to have beliefs, just don't believe in them."

There are many things in this world unlike basketball games -- cooking, singing, knitting, doing your taxes and getting married for reality programming among them. And after his much-maligned wedding, this pro baller wisely observed, "It was totally different than being in a basketball game."

This action star is under the impression that when he dies he'll be reincarnated as an inanimate object -- but hey, at least he has goals. He once described his future afterlife by saying, "The only happy artist is a dead artist. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.'

This former sex symbol may remember she's had four husbands, but she isn't quite sure how many states America has -- or what they are -- because she once said, "I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states."

If a lot of celebrities had dictionaries, maybe they wouldn't say so many doltish things. Example: This famous-by-marriage woman once said, "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."

If this NBA legend is to be believed, there is no mathematical way to find the third side of a triangle. Ever. This former athlete was once quoted as claiming, "Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem: there is no answer!"

We don't think this word means what he thinks it means, but a certain former boxer slash actor (who's most recently known for cameos where he stars himself) once told ESPN that after his retirement, "I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."