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10 Best ‘Knocked Up’ Quotes

Knocked Up
Universal Pictures

Director Judd Apatow changed how we think of comedy with his 2007 film ‘Knocked Up,’ in which a one night stand between Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl goes horribly awry and she ends up pregnant with a baby that she decides to keep.

Who knew that a movie about the dangers of not using protection could be so funny, or so heartwarming?

The film, which also stars Apatow’s wife, Leslie Mann, and his regulars Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill and Jason Segel, would also go on to spawn the spin-off ‘This Is 40.’

Take a look back at the movie with the best ‘Knocked Up’ quotes below!


“I won’t say it, but it rhymes with shmashmortion.”

– Jonah, suggesting how to solve the baby problem

Alison: “I was drunk!”
Ben: “Was your vagina drunk?”

– Alison, giving excuses for why she didn’t use protection

“Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond,’ only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

– Pete, trying to talk Ben out of marriage

Debbie: “I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.”
Jason: “I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.”
Ben: “We don’t have the heart to tell him it’s herpes.”
Jason: “It’s not herpes if it’s everywhere.”

“Are you the lady who doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until she’s sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?”

– Debbie, referencing the TV show ‘I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant’

Alison: “I’m pregnant.”
Ben: “Pregnant … with emotion?”
Alison: “Pregnant with a baby.”

“Isn’t weird how chairs exist even when you’re not sitting on them?”

– Ben, who is tripping on shrooms

Jay: “I’m going to be there to rear your child.”
Jason: “You hear that, Ben? Don’t let him near the kid. He wants to rear your child!”

“You sound like Jabba the Hutt dying.”

– Brent, commenting on Alison’s vomiting

“I Googled murder.”

– Sadie, a child filling her mother in on her day

Next: See 10 Pop Stars Who Attempted Movie Careers

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