Ryan Anderson is a humorist and writer with a degree in journalism and philosophy that just sits in a box in his attic. You can read more of his musings here: http://www.twitter.com/kolchak
Ryan Anderson
Miss Utah Tries to Fix the Gender Gap, Stumbles Her Way Into Pageant Q&A History [VIDEO]
Pageants are typically superficial popularity contests that never end up promoting the inner beauty about which they pretend to care.
But every once in a while, a pageant contestant comes along who shatters those expectations and proves to us that brains and beauty are not mutually exclusive. And at Miss USA 2013, that was Miss Utah.
Vivid Bought Joe Francis’ Sex Tape, But (Thankfully) We’ll Never See It
Last time we heard from professional toolkit Joe Francis, someone had stolen his girlfriend Abbey Wilson's iPad and began peddling footage of the two bumping uglies, causing Francis to freak out (ironic, given how the 'Girls Gone Wild' honcho made his fortune).
But Steve Hirsch -- the Vivid Entertainment founder who previously bought Farrah Abraham's sex tape porno -- came to Joe's rescue.
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Jason Alexander, Levar Burton, Fran Drescher + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (June 14) celebrities fraternized, celebrated anniversaries, contemplated amphibious lawn maintenance, pondered linguistics, made theological arguments and probably also made innuendos.
Amanda Bynes Supposedly Admitted Her Nuttiness Is Just an Act – If You Believe the Source, That Is
Remember that time self-proclaimed "publicist" Jonathan Jaxson claimed that Amanda Bynes was suicidal, so he helped orchestrate an intervention?
Now he's claiming she's admitted her whole nutso schtick is just a ploy for attention -- and he's posted the supposed "proof" on his Twitter account.
Charlie Sheen Calls Farrah Abraham a ‘Desperate Guzzler of Stagnant Douche Agua’
As we reported yesterday, Farrah Abraham and Charlie Sheen have been texting, and she proudly showed TMZ proof of such.
But Charlie was none too pleased about her revelation, and he's now penned an acidic missive to the teen mom that seeks to put her back in her place. Wherever that may be.
Tom Arnold, Ryan Seacrest, Josh Groban + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (June 13) celebrities handled babies, talked defecation, grew mutant elbows, attended important business meetings and got the hiccups.
Farrah Abraham + Charlie Sheen Are Texting About Playdates Now [PHOTOS]
Looks like Farrah Abraham is one step closer to becoming a goddess, because she's officially been texting Charlie Sheen for a month now.
Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Want Anyone Discussing Gwyneth Paltrow With Vanity Fair
Gwyneth Paltrow is inexplicably everywhere all at once these days. She's on red carpets and magazine covers and inside your kitchen dumping your Lucky Charms down the garbage disposal because of their sugar content.
So it's no surprise Vanity Fair wanted to do a cover story on her. What is a surprise is that Gwyn didn't want anything to do with it.
Farrah Abraham Got Some New Boobs [PHOTOS]
Now that Farrah Abraham has a bestselling sex tape, it's high time she looked the part (well, looked the part even more). So last month, she had herself retrofitted with a new pair of boobs to replace the old-new boobs she bought a while back. But since these are way better, maybe she won't be so ignored at porn conventions.
Justin Bieber, Diablo Cody, Zach Braff + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (June 12) celebrities re-watched a classic, planned tattoos, denied getting other tattoos, suffered lingerie nostalgia and made no sense.
Miley Cyrus Is Still Engaged + Throwing Shade at Amanda Bynes [AUDIO]
Miley Cyrus heard the rumors swirling about a possible hook-up with Justin Bieber, and she's none too pleased. So she's apparently taken to calling into radio shows to set the record straight.
Kanye West Denies Canadian Model’s Claims That They Had an Affair [PHOTOS]
In what may be forever known as the last temptation of Yeezus, a Canadian model has stepped forward claiming she slept with Kanye West on two separate occasions -- once during Kim Kardashian's current pregnancy.
Kanye, however, says her pants are on fire.
Justin Bieber + Miley Cyrus May or May Not Be Hooking Up [VIDEO]
In a chain of events that some feel brings to mind the harbingers of death in the book of Revelation, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were spotted canoodling at a Los Angeles hot spot over the weekend before leaving together.
Gilbert Gottfried, John Cusack, Patrick Stewart + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (June 11) celebrities got political, rediscovered themselves, ate dinner, paid tribute to pets, and dealt with flooded inboxes.
His Holiness Kanye West Demands You Not Speak In His Presence [VIDEO]
Paparazzos are sometimes annoying or aggressive. A photog who caught up with Kanye West (en route to cure a leper, probs) in New York this weekend was being neither -- but that didn't stop Yeezus from throwing a holy hissy fit.
Listen Up, Channing Tatum: Snooki Has Some Parenting Advice for You [VIDEO]
Now that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are parents, it makes sense that they would immediately receive unsolicited advice from Snooki. (MTV pays her for that now, you know.)
Heidi Klum + Her Boyfriend Got Drunk and Fought in Public
Heidi Klum got slightly catty off the catwalk this weekend during a boozy bout with her boyfriend/bodyguard Martin Kristen.
Amanda Bynes Went Shopping – And Apparently Adopted a Puppy [PHOTO, VIDEO]
Despite not wanting to be seen or paid attention to, Amanda Bynes continues to spend a lot of time trudging around Times Square. And this weekend was no different.
Take That, Europe: Kanye West + Kim Kardashian Might Be Moving to France [VIDEO]
Kanye West has done his best to avoid both most of the Kardashian clan and the paparazzi, occasionally losing brain cells in the process. But with no results, he's been forced to up the ante -- possibly relocating squeeze Kim Kardashian and their daughter Khristy to France.
Diddy, Hillary Clinton, Kathy Griffin + More in Celebrity Tweets of the Day
Today (June 10) celebrities sent family emails, got dolled up, liked 'Game of Thrones,' joined Twitter and partook of a little legal tokage.